Thursday, 21 December 2017

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree

Once upon a time, time there was a lady who really loved Christmas.




She started buying her Christmas presents in September and was usually done by November, this way, she could thoroughly enjoy the whole of December.

In December she would put the Christmas music on and write her Christmas cards.

In December she would put the Christmas music on and wrap her presents.

In December she would put the Christmas music on a drink mulled wine.

In December she would put the Christmas music on a drink more mulled wine.

Any way you get the picture.

Now, this particular year the lady didn't want to go to the posh garden centre to get a Christmas tree, instead, she wanted to go to a Christmas tree farm.

Surely, a Christmas tree farm would be better and more Christmassy.

So she did, with her daughters. And they bought what they thought was an excellent Christmas tree.

It was a live Christmas tree in a pot because the lady didn't want pines everywhere, she liked a neat and tidy Christmas.

When they got the tree home they decorated it, but thought it was a bit more spiky than previous Christmas trees they had, had. The youngest daughter complained that she didn't like the spikes as they hurt her. The lady couldn't help but agree.

But once they had finished decorating it, they thought it looked very nice.

After a day or two, the lady noticed the pine needles of the Christmas tree were beginning to fall.

By day three, any time someone touched the tree, there would be a mini downpour of pine needles, by day five if you touched the tree, an avalanche of pine needles would come down.

The lady had watered the tree from day one, but this didn't seem to make a difference - there were pine needles everywhere.

The pine needles got into the lady's slippers,

The pine needles got into the children's hair.

The pine needles were all over the cat.

The lady didn't like her Christmas tree. The lady had bad thoughts about her Christmas tree, and said bad words her children had never heard before. The lady started to look forward to when she could get rid of it.

Eventually, there were just too many pine needles everywhere.

The lady decided that there was nothing for it but to bin the rubbish Christmas tree and get the old artificial one out of the loft.

And when the family put that tree up, it looked very nice too.

However, the lady couldn't see that and in a mulled wine induced speech the lady declared 'This tree has ruined Christmas', which was a little over dramatic, but hey, she was tired and emotional....

                                                                The End


The moral of this story is, don't go to some random farm to buy your Christmas tree, go to the posh garden centre and get a decent one. I am hugely disappointed with the current tree I have, and although I haven't gone to the loft for the artificial one I am seriously considering it, as the battle with pines is relentless and to be frank, I have had enough.

I will, of course recycle what's left of this stupid tree, using the treecycling project (which I would recommend) where you pay an amount to a charity and they pick up your tree. Just google treecycling and your local area and you should find your local one.

Any hoo, Merry Christmas and don't let those pine needles get you down.

Much Love

Me xxx


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