Wednesday, 20 September 2017

The Art of Waiting



I spend a lot of my time in hospitals. Waiting.
I don't mind waiting. I come prepared. Coffee. Phone. Sometimes a book. 

Today I am in Solihull hospitals radiology department waiting for an x-ray as i've had a persistent dry cough for over six weeks.

The doctor has to send me for a chest x-ray as this is the standard procedure, even though she doubts there is anything wrong with my lungs at all, and it is probably to do with my indigestion medication, she thinks I need to take more of it. Yay more pills.

So here I am waiting. I have no internet connection so I am writing this on my notes on my phone. I can upload it later.

All of this is fine. I am being productive. I have half an ear open for my name.

I have made a list of what I need to do later, when i'm finished here. Because what ever happens and no matter how long I wait I will be finished here at some point. There is always an end of the wait in sight.

It may be far away on the horizon. But it's there. 

I watch others get agitated, fidgety. What's the point. It is always warm in waiting rooms it will only make you hotter and uncomfortable.

Usually there is a TV on. Today Jeremy Kyle is on. I purposely sit with my back to it so I can faze it out. You can't reach a perfect waiting Zen state with Jeremy Kyle in your eyeline

I have to be careful not to fall a sleep. It's warm, I have found a comfortable sitting position and as I relax my eyes close.

Relaxing into waiting started when I had a super busy job and not much of a work life balance. I realised when I was waiting. I had to stop. Just stop.

It was Me time. Not perfect but something. Since then my life has changed A Lot. But I still find myself in this state. 

I have written all this. I am still waiting, my eyelids are heavy. This is way more than I would do normally whilst I wait.

Normally, I think of nothing. The murmur of all the others voices who are waiting too, are like waves or whale music. Strangely relaxing. 

I would recommend my form of waiting. You can't speed up the hospital, by bothering them. You are just taking up their valuable time. So, as they say, 'just lean into it'. It is what it is. 

Now if only I could reach this state of mind when I'm driving I would be a much better person. But no, this seems peculiar to waiting. 

Try it. It's nice.


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